A thousand apologies for not updating this place, especially in light of the previous question. Heh. Been busy adjusting to a few things here and there, so I hope you can pardon me and Case for not being able to update this properly. Otherwise...well, just read on and maybe you'll forgive us after that.

But before I really go into it, let me tell you guys a story. A story of how we actually got together, right from the beginning. Yeah I know, you're wondering where this will lead to, but trust me. You'll get the idea. And hopefully a laugh out of it as well. ;)

Anyways, yeah. How DID we get together? Well, let's start with how we got to know each other first. She was a freshman in the course, and me a year 2. Got to know her through her friends: Rose, Yanz, and Faith cos these 3 were under my commitee (we were in the CMMIG crap last time). She asked to add me cos I was one of the few seniors she knew then, and I allowed it, even though we NEVER talked to each other online. Not till after I graduated. Heh. And you know what was the first thing I did to introduce myself? I went to hit her cap. >.<

I remember one time in the Mac Lab. She was doing her multimedia project, while I was probably just bumming around as usual. She asked if I could help her with something, and after I did, I saw that she was using a Batman soundtrack and we got to talking about comics. And for two people who didn't know each other, we were able to talk surprisingly well.

It got to the point where I actually missed talking to her when I went to Australia for a holiday with my family. From then on, it proceded to frequent lunches, talkings, outings, and going to the parks.

I'd invited her over to Lakeside one evening because she was feeling down, and thought that Lakeside might cheer her up. We'd walked over to Chinese Gardens and sat down, doing our usual talking, teasings and laughings, when she decided to ask.

Her: Hey, you mind if I ask you a question?

Me (surprisingly nervous cos of the way she asked): Umm, sure I guess. What'd you have in mind?

Her: Well...how do I say this...

Me: Hey...you know me. Ask away anything you've in mind.

Her: Well......what would you do if I told you I liked you?

Me (and of all the stupid reactions): *blinks, laughs*

Later on the train platform

Her (when the train comes): Guess I'll see ya online later then?

Me: *smiles*. But of course. *hugs* (in middle of hug). And guess what?

Her: ?

Me: I was actually thinking the same thing. *winks*.

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Ever since then, and a very...close talk we had, we got together. And have been so for the past 8 months, still going. ;).

So yeah. A VERY long intro indeed (sorry!), but felt like sharing and thought it was necessary before I could really talk about the subject in hand.

How do you know that you love someone?

First off, I'm not the overly dramatic kind. Neither am I the overemotional type, opportunistic, nor pessimistic type. To a certain extent, I may be deemed a skeptic. But what I am in essense I guess, is a realist.

While I do find romance and sweet moments a nice thing, I find it kinda overrated now, especially in today's society. Not only in movies or TV, but even in real life.

Love. A word used too often, but mean too little.

So, even if you ask me now how do you know that you love someone, I wouldn't know what to tell you. Every person has his or her own intepretation of that. So there really isn't a single correct answer for that.

I can however say this. There are times when you just... know that you're in love, even at first sight. Other times, you might have to work on them, and the feelings will come only in time after the foundations of friendship have been built on.

One thing you have to keep in mind though in both these cases: and that is Love is NOT equal to lust. But... judging from what I've experienced... I can say however, that when you DO feel like you're in love...

You feel warmth.

Sounds crazy? Yeah well, shrugs. That's the best way I can put it ATM right now. I mean, it's not like a tingly feeling you get whenever the other's around, or the "I-can't-live-without-you" feeling as well. It's just... feeling warm.

You know the feeling when you're drinking a warm cup of chocolate on a cold day, the way it just warms you up from head to toe? That's the kind of warmth I'm talking about. Only better.

It's the kind of warmth you get, when the two of you aren't really doing anything, but just... enjoying each other's company, cuddling, hugging, etc. It's the kind of warmth and comfort you get when you know that though he/she might not be around sometimes, they'll try to be there as much as they can.

It's the kind of warmth you get when both of you are just.. being. No dinners. No movies. No romantic rendezvous under the moonlight in the middle of Paris with a rose in hand and violin music in the background. Just... being.

Case and me have come a very long way within the short span of eight months. We've learnt or re-learnt so many things along the way, and to a significant extent, helped heal each other's wounds, old or new.

Most of all...we learnt to love again. To respect, appreciate, trust, have faith in, and learn. We learnt to feel warmth again.

And that, in my opinion, is when you know you're in love.

Peace...

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Added on 18 April, 2006 at 9.35pm by Casey

First off, a slight correction on Az's post above, about our conversation at Chinese Gardens when I told him I liked him. My exact words were:

How would you react if I told you I liked you?

And his reply was not to laugh, but to pause, and say, "Surprised, I guess."

Now that we've cleared things up...lol.

"Love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image...otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find them in." - Anon.

Love, these days, is simply a word of convenience, thrown around by many who claim they love him, they love her, deeply and truly. But what of the connotations behind the word? the idea? the very driving force which should propel what love truly means?

I can't say that love is selfless, because it isn't. Not totally, at least. How many times have you been with someone just because "he makes me feel loved," "she makes me feel wanted and needed"?

On the other hand, I can't say that I haven't seen selfless acts of love that really show love without strings attached: a mom risking her life for her child; a spouse giving up his/her kidney (and whatever other things precious to him) for his loved one. You get the idea.

Thus, to me, how I know I love someone - in this case, Az - is that I feel a need to balance out what I receive and what I give. There's always a temptation to be selfish, and demand a lot; but balancing that out is the compulsion of returning, of wanting the other to be happy, to grow as a person, to be whole.

"If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I." - Michel de Montaigne

That about sums it up.