A thousand apologies for not updating this place, especially in light of the previous question. Heh. Been busy adjusting to a few things here and there, so I hope you can pardon me and Case for not being able to update this properly. Otherwise...well, just read on and maybe you'll forgive us after that.
But before I really go into it, let me tell you guys a story. A story of how we actually got together, right from the beginning. Yeah I know, you're wondering where this will lead to, but trust me. You'll get the idea. And hopefully a laugh out of it as well. ;)
Anyways, yeah. How DID we get together? Well, let's start with how we got to know each other first. She was a freshman in the course, and me a year 2. Got to know her through her friends: Rose, Yanz, and Faith cos these 3 were under my commitee (we were in the CMMIG crap last time). She asked to add me cos I was one of the few seniors she knew then, and I allowed it, even though we NEVER talked to each other online. Not till after I graduated. Heh. And you know what was the first thing I did to introduce myself? I went to hit her cap. >.<
I remember one time in the Mac Lab. She was doing her multimedia project, while I was probably just bumming around as usual. She asked if I could help her with something, and after I did, I saw that she was using a Batman soundtrack and we got to talking about comics. And for two people who didn't know each other, we were able to talk surprisingly well.
It got to the point where I actually missed talking to her when I went to Australia for a holiday with my family. From then on, it proceded to frequent lunches, talkings, outings, and going to the parks.
I'd invited her over to Lakeside one evening because she was feeling down, and thought that Lakeside might cheer her up. We'd walked over to Chinese Gardens and sat down, doing our usual talking, teasings and laughings, when she decided to ask.
Her: Hey, you mind if I ask you a question?
Me (surprisingly nervous cos of the way she asked): Umm, sure I guess. What'd you have in mind?
Her: Well...how do I say this...
Me: Hey...you know me. Ask away anything you've in mind.
Her: Well......what would you do if I told you I liked you?
Me (and of all the stupid reactions): *blinks, laughs*
Later on the train platformHer (when the train comes): Guess I'll see ya online later then?
Me: *smiles*. But of course. *hugs* (in middle of hug). And guess what?
Her: ?
Me: I was actually thinking the same thing. *winks*.
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Ever since then, and a very...close talk we had, we got together. And have been so for the past 8 months, still going. ;).
So yeah. A VERY long intro indeed (sorry!), but felt like sharing and thought it was necessary before I could really talk about the subject in hand.
How do you know that you love someone?First off, I'm not the overly dramatic kind. Neither am I the overemotional type, opportunistic, nor pessimistic type. To a certain extent, I may be deemed a skeptic. But what I am in essense I guess, is a realist.
While I do find romance and sweet moments a nice thing, I find it kinda overrated now, especially in today's society. Not only in movies or TV, but even in real life.
Love. A word used too often, but mean too little.
So, even if you ask me now how do you know that you love someone, I wouldn't know what to tell you. Every person has his or her own intepretation of that. So there really isn't a single correct answer for that.
I can however say this. There are times when you just... know that you're in love, even at first sight. Other times, you might have to work on them, and the feelings will come only in time after the foundations of friendship have been built on.
One thing you have to keep in mind though in both these cases: and that is Love is NOT equal to lust. But... judging from what I've experienced... I can say however, that when you DO feel like you're in love...
You feel warmth.
Sounds crazy? Yeah well, shrugs. That's the best way I can put it ATM right now. I mean, it's not like a tingly feeling you get whenever the other's around, or the "I-can't-live-without-you" feeling as well. It's just... feeling warm.
You know the feeling when you're drinking a warm cup of chocolate on a cold day, the way it just warms you up from head to toe? That's the kind of warmth I'm talking about. Only better.
It's the kind of warmth you get, when the two of you aren't really doing anything, but just... enjoying each other's company, cuddling, hugging, etc. It's the kind of warmth and comfort you get when you know that though he/she might not be around sometimes, they'll try to be there as much as they can.
It's the kind of warmth you get when both of you are just.. being. No dinners. No movies. No romantic rendezvous under the moonlight in the middle of Paris with a rose in hand and violin music in the background. Just... being.
Case and me have come a very long way within the short span of eight months. We've learnt or re-learnt so many things along the way, and to a significant extent, helped heal each other's wounds, old or new.
Most of all...we learnt to love again. To respect, appreciate, trust, have faith in, and learn. We learnt to feel warmth again.
And that, in my opinion, is when you know you're in love.
Peace...
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Added on 18 April, 2006 at 9.35pm by CaseyFirst off, a slight correction on Az's post above, about our conversation at Chinese Gardens when I told him I liked him. My exact words were:
How would you react if I told you I liked you?And his reply was not to laugh, but to pause, and say, "Surprised, I guess."
Now that we've cleared things up...lol.
"Love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image...otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find them in." - Anon.Love, these days, is simply a word of convenience, thrown around by many who claim they love him, they love her, deeply and truly. But what of the connotations behind the word? the idea? the very driving force which
should propel what love truly means?
I can't say that love is selfless, because it isn't. Not totally, at least. How many times have you been with someone just because "he makes me feel loved," "she makes me feel wanted and needed"?
On the other hand, I can't say that I haven't seen selfless acts of love that really show love without strings attached: a mom risking her life for her child; a spouse giving up his/her kidney (and whatever other things precious to him) for his loved one. You get the idea.
Thus, to me, how I know I love someone - in this case, Az - is that I feel a need to balance out what I receive and what I give. There's always a temptation to be selfish, and demand a lot; but balancing that out is the compulsion of returning, of wanting the other to be
happy, to grow as a person, to be whole.
"If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I." - Michel de MontaigneThat about sums it up.
W|LD_CARD blew the autumn leaves at 8:08 PM
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First off, apologies for not having updated sooner, but Az and I had both been dealing with problems of our own, and couldn't find the time to update.
Silverlycan (shall not use any real names here) was the only one who emailed me - boo - but since she did, I'll post her email up. =)
Az and I might/might not post on this. But a very big "thank you" to Silverlycan for her post.
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By SilverlycanYou just know. You know when you were younger and you'd hear that you'd 'know' when you met 'the one' and you didn't believe them? It's true. You really do. You don't need to be told and you don't need to analyse the relationship in any way; it's just as clear as day.
But here are a few things that I've thought of.
You would do anything for that person. You would die for them.
You want to protect that person. Your heart aches when they are in pain or unwell. You would take away all their hurt and keep it for yourself if you could. You get angry and protective if there is any threat to your loved one verbal/physical or emotional.
That special person just needs to look at you for you to feel a million miles away. Their voice on the telephone makes you smile. When they talk you wish you could listen to that voice forever. They just need to smile to brighten up your whole day. The feel of their hand in yours makes your heart flutter and your body feel like it's walking on air. The kiss of their lips sends shivers down your spine. Their arm around you makes you feel instantly secure and safe. You feel like nothing can harm you.
That special person is your best friend. The best friend you've ever had.
You feel so comfortable with that person that you can't believe it. You remember times in the past when you hid behind your true feelings and the problems it caused. You feel you can say and talk about anything with this person. You fit together so well.
You understand each other. You can accurately guess how they will react to certain situations. You know them very well. You realise their 'faults' (as well as your own) and you understand and respect them. You don't try to change that person. You wouldn't want to.
Nobody can change your mind about that person. A million people could tell you they were wrong for you, but you'd know they were the wrong ones.
You feel incredibly lonely when you're apart from that person. The longer the separation, the deeper the loneliness.
You make sacrifices for that person without a second thought.
There is no regret because you're doing it for that special person.
There are no pretences. You are yourself. You are free.
You know that this is more than lust. You don't just want this person. You need them. To live.
You constantly find ways to make them happy, to make them smile...and you don't even realise you're doing it.
You can't imagine life without them and wouldn't want to.
You check with them before making plans for your future.
You are considerate and understanding of their likes and dislikes.
Forgiveness. You both talk through any problems or disagreements sensibly and your relationship is stronger for it.
You want to be with that person as much as you possibly can. That person is the centre of your universe. You start to miss them before they've even gone. Just knowing they'll soon be going makes your heart cry.
When your partner is happy, you're happy. When they're sad, you're sad.
Their emotions are reflected upon you. You hate it when they're sad and will do everything in your power to make them happy.
Your feelings about that person don't change; whether they're sick, grumpy, moody or unreasonable.
That special person inspires you to better yourself every day.
You wonder how you ever lived life before you met that person.
You accept and love every part of that person. Their insecurities and their imperfections. You love them as a whole.
You want nothing more than to spend the rest of your life with that person. You would happily go through debt, sickness and poverty, just so long as they were by your side throughout.
You feel like the luckiest person alive and you wish everybody could feel as happy as you are.
Most of all, you can't possibly list all of the little things that make you love that person. There are too many. It's every one of those little things collected up and packed away into a beautiful box and then wholly absorbed into your soul.
Casey blew the autumn leaves at 1:02 PM
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